He's just sitting around,
living his life.
Not a care about the impact his absence has on other people's life, blissfully unaware of the constant ache it causes, and certainly ignorant to the warmth his presence provides. He is blind to the amount of friendship and love he needs to display, and the shit he needs to appear to give to allow the people who care about him to continue to believe he is still in their lives, and so he expects his appearance two weeks ago to suffice in helping them to have faith in his dedication towards them. While his friends and I think of him and make excuses for his absence, he doesn't spare us an action. He may be thinking about us, so a thought may be being spared- and in my effort to make excuses for his behaviour I am obviously inclined to believe that- but he has done nothing to show it.
He's just sitting around, living his life.
He has heaps of work to complete, an education to receive, a well-off family to care for, a car to keep washed, a mind to keep calm, a body to keep fit, an existence to keep whole; from the melodramatic way that was said it may seem he is the only one who has those obligations, but upon close perusal it is obvious they are generic and a part of every normal teenager's life. I realise this. His friends do too. Yet they let him get away with thinking he's made us think he's busier than we are. And all this while, there has been no sudden apology driven movement on his part.
He's just sitting around, living his life.
His lack of initiative could be construed as heartlessness, and I wouldn't write off someone who came to that conclusion because it is a perfectly valid one to come to. He's cooped up in his cocooned world where interaction doesn't matter and communication survives effortlessly even in its own absence. Immersed in his mediocre acquisition of bookish knowledge and his myriad of music, far from the effects of intellectual stimulation, he's convinced that he has everything he needs within his four walls and that he faces no deficiency of anything. He envisages a life in the future where he will provide a wholesome life to himself and will do his existence justice. The foresight he thinks he has takes away from his present. We are his present, even though he isn't.
He's just sitting around living his life.
I sit here thinking of him, ruminating about his undeniable inconsideration, running away from the people who are waiting for me to reciprocate their initiative in trying to get my attention- they call themselves my friends, even though I call them so rarely. The disappointment I feel in the way he has allowed the 20 years of his life to culminate to this point has me distracted from the fact that I've spent the last 6 months of my 18 being disillusioned with his lacklustre, unfulfilling aura that is a waste on the potential I feel so proud in having observed. I yearn for the opportunity to convert this stored up brilliance into visible genius and my psychological and emotional prowess is thwarted whenever it is faces with his reluctance to allow his life to be lives the way it ought to be- well. While he stumbled across its different phases, maybe even came across one with energy in it, what have I been doing? I've just been sitting around, living my life.
Not a care about the impact his absence has on other people's life, blissfully unaware of the constant ache it causes, and certainly ignorant to the warmth his presence provides. He is blind to the amount of friendship and love he needs to display, and the shit he needs to appear to give to allow the people who care about him to continue to believe he is still in their lives, and so he expects his appearance two weeks ago to suffice in helping them to have faith in his dedication towards them. While his friends and I think of him and make excuses for his absence, he doesn't spare us an action. He may be thinking about us, so a thought may be being spared- and in my effort to make excuses for his behaviour I am obviously inclined to believe that- but he has done nothing to show it.
He's just sitting around, living his life.
He has heaps of work to complete, an education to receive, a well-off family to care for, a car to keep washed, a mind to keep calm, a body to keep fit, an existence to keep whole; from the melodramatic way that was said it may seem he is the only one who has those obligations, but upon close perusal it is obvious they are generic and a part of every normal teenager's life. I realise this. His friends do too. Yet they let him get away with thinking he's made us think he's busier than we are. And all this while, there has been no sudden apology driven movement on his part.
He's just sitting around, living his life.
His lack of initiative could be construed as heartlessness, and I wouldn't write off someone who came to that conclusion because it is a perfectly valid one to come to. He's cooped up in his cocooned world where interaction doesn't matter and communication survives effortlessly even in its own absence. Immersed in his mediocre acquisition of bookish knowledge and his myriad of music, far from the effects of intellectual stimulation, he's convinced that he has everything he needs within his four walls and that he faces no deficiency of anything. He envisages a life in the future where he will provide a wholesome life to himself and will do his existence justice. The foresight he thinks he has takes away from his present. We are his present, even though he isn't.
He's just sitting around living his life.
I sit here thinking of him, ruminating about his undeniable inconsideration, running away from the people who are waiting for me to reciprocate their initiative in trying to get my attention- they call themselves my friends, even though I call them so rarely. The disappointment I feel in the way he has allowed the 20 years of his life to culminate to this point has me distracted from the fact that I've spent the last 6 months of my 18 being disillusioned with his lacklustre, unfulfilling aura that is a waste on the potential I feel so proud in having observed. I yearn for the opportunity to convert this stored up brilliance into visible genius and my psychological and emotional prowess is thwarted whenever it is faces with his reluctance to allow his life to be lives the way it ought to be- well. While he stumbled across its different phases, maybe even came across one with energy in it, what have I been doing? I've just been sitting around, living my life.
Hello.
ReplyDeleteI read this space on and off, but I'm usually too lazy to comment.. But this post made so much sense, 'cause I could hear myself talk just the same about a particular person such around my globe,too.
This post was sheer brilliance.
Hey Nil :)
ReplyDeleteIt's been far too long since I've read a comment of yours on my blog. I'm so glad you came across a post you liked and could relate with now that you're here. DO drop in more often? I'll be on yours too.