Funny things

♫♪ I want the world to see you'll be, with me ♫♪
Lol jk. Anybody gets to know about us and we're OVER.


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♫♪ Keep it in the closet! ♫♪
Lol jk, please come out, it's lonely when you're the only one.


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*On the phone*

Me: Dude, let's play Memory
Him: (After some resistance) Yeah okay.
Me: You first.
Him: Okay. Pen.
Me: Pen, pencil.
Him: Pen, pencil, dick.
Me: Pen, pencil, dick, blowhorn.
Him: Pen, pencil, dick, blowhorn, mother.
Me: Pen, pencil, dick, blowhorn, mother, fuck.
Him: Pen, pencil, dick, blowhorn, mother, fuck, tv.
Me: Pen, pencil, dick, blowhorn, tv, leg.

Him: HAHA! You didn't say mother and fuck!
Me: Oh, mother fuck!


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Him: You know what I've always wanted?
Me: Sex?
Him: No, not always.
Me: Haha, not always.
Him: I've always wanted quotes- you know, like, Favourite Quotations. I've always wanted some.
Me: Pity you never get any. 


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Facebook: Is *writer of this blog* innocent?
My ex boyfriend: Does Justin Beiber have balls? No? Then, no.


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Me: (When I was dating X, I was talking to my male friend Y and X called, so I said) Okayyy, so X's called, I'll talk to you later!
(This was a joke. I wasn't really going to cut the phone on Y for X. I would've joined the call or talked to X later.)
Y: (Not knowing that) Oh, fuck you.
*Cuts the phone*
I pick up X's call.
Me: Oh jesus, Y's pissed because he thought I was going to cut the phone on him for you.
X: Jesus, go apologize, it's Y.
Me: Yeah, alright, I'll talk to you in a bit.
*Mutual disconnection of the call*
I called Y 4 times, and he didn't pick. Pussy.
The fifth time, he did.
Me: Hello? God, why Y!
Y: Y is busy. Please get a life after the beep. BEEP!




HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. 


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